More And More Women Are Opting To Get A Tattoo

Actually, it is not a new thing for women to get tattoos or “inked” as it frequently called. Women have been getting tattoos for thousands of years, and despite the fact we think tattoos have been an art practiced only on men, in some cultures only the women get tattoos. In some of these cultures the women get the tattoos as a way to show off various skills, like basket weaving, food gathering and to show they are suitable for marriage.

The word tattoo means “to get marked” and comes from the Tahitian word “Tattau” but today people who love tattoos commonly refer to it as body art.

Can You Compare Apples And Oranges?

An adage is a time-tested truism, but some adages don’t ad up anymore. “A penny saved is a penny earned” has deflated in meaning because of inflation.

“Penny-wise and pound foolish” is an English adage. Here it would be more effective as an ad for Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. Another truism about money is “A fool and his money are soon parted”. This one must explain Las Vegas.

Then there’s the one about saving for a rainy day. Because I live in Southern California, I wouldn’t save much - certainly not as much as people living in Seattle. Actually, it’s Prince Charles who should be saving for a reigny day.

Are They Being Nosey?

“The check’s in the mail”. “No, you don’t look fat in that”. “You don’t look that old”. These are familiar exaggerations, white lies or what my grandmother called Pinocchio noses.

A building contractor nose how to convince you the remodeling will be done on time. A used car dealer nose how to make an old car look good. A lawyer nose how to make his client look innocent.

When I was an innocent child and the doctor said, “This won’t hurt”, I was too busy looking at the lollypop to see if his nose got longer. Now I watch the doctor’s nose very carefully.

Can You Weather The Storm?

“I wish I could, but I don’t have time”. “Sorry, but I have too much to do”. “Maybe I can fit it in next week”. Monday turns into Thursday and Thursday turns into the following month. I feel like a dog chasing its tail. It’s time to stop and smell the beef jerky treat.

It’s time to enjoy the reason we moved to Southern California - the weather. For my husband and me living in the East had become one of those four-letter words - snow. Now I’m addicted to sunshine.

Can Exercise Be Exorcised?

My conscience won’t go on vacation. I can slather it with sunscreen and lay it in the sun, I can buy it maps and take it sightseeing, I can dress it up and take it out for a romantic dinner - but it refuses to go on vacation.

While I’m trying to have fun, my conscience continually lectures me. Although I try to explain that a vacation is time to do and eat things you don’t at home, it won’t listen. My conscience nags me most about exercise. It insists I make time to exercise on vacation.

When Is A Makeover Over?

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” When my mirror giggled, I made an appointment for a makeover at the “New You”, a very chic beauty salon.

Did I want a manicure or a massage? How about a new hair style? I wanted the works. In by nine, out by five - just like my dry cleaning.

As soon as I walked through the salon’s gold door, I was greeted by a Miss-Universe-type, who handed me a shapeless, chartreuse smock and paper slippers. Neither contributed to the new me I’d envisioned. If my mirror had seen me, it wouldn’t have giggled. It would have cracked up.

Who Ordered The Mail Order Catalogs?

I admit it. I need a twelve-step program for people addicted to mail order catalogs. I was clean and shopless for eight months. I was able to put every catalog that came in the mail into the wastebasket without opening a page.

Unfortunately, my resistance crumbled when I was marooned in a doctor’s waiting room without a magazine - not even a three-month-old copy of Newsweek. The other patients, who were also trying to be patient, had taken all the reading material except one, dog-eared catalog.

Do You Remember Your School Daze?

I still have nightmares about being unprepared for school tests. Would dream analysts interpret that as meaning I don’t feel in control of my life or that I have a fear of failure? Maybe I just need to be better prepared for blood tests and eye tests.

I went to an all girls’ school - white blouses, blue skirts and brown oxfords. The only time I got away with makeup was for missed tests.

I didn’t like math. I didn’t like subjects that had exact answers - subjects with no wiggle room. History didn’t have wiggle room. I didn’t understand the importance of learning specific dates. Who remembers them? When I was studying history, the only important dates were on weekends.

Do You Do Brunch?

Brunch must have been invented by a female. When we lived on the East Coast, brunch was a late, Sunday breakfast at home. It was an edible excuse for me to sleep more and cook less.

On the West Coast brunch is big business. On the West Coast you don’t have bunch, you DO brunch. On the West Coast you do brunch on Saturday or Sunday.

There are two kinds of brunch - menu and buffet. If it’s my choice, it means my birthday is on a weekend.

Do Clothes Horses Wear Polo Shirts?

If clothes make the man, dressing for success is done one pant leg at a time. A scientist needs a white lab coat. Both male and female executives need to be well coiffed in tailored suits, but the female executive has a chip on her shoulder from hitting her head on the glass ceiling. Politicians, with their hands out and talking out both sides of their mouths, should wear conservative suits accessorized, of course, with flag pins.

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