Mundane Uses For Super Powers
If the world ever gets its mits on someone with real super powers, the results are likely to be a lot less spectacular than portrayed by comic book
Jonathan Kent had the right idea for a real super hero’s father. Here are some conversations excerpts that might have taken place between Clark and his dad.
Jonathan: “Get over here boy, I need to you lift up this tractor so I can work on it.”
Clark: “Okay, Dad.”
Jonathan: “Now quit shaking that around and hold it still. When I get that tire loose, toss it over there on the used pile.”
Clark: “Where you going, Dad?”
Jonathan: “It’s hot out here; I’m going over to the house to get me a drink.”
Clark: “Can I put the tractor down now?”
Jonathan: “No, just hang on to it; I’ll be back in a minute. You want something to drink?”
Clark: “No, I’m fine.”
Jonathan: “When we’re done with the tractor, you are going to need to drive some more fence posts with your fist, and buck some more hay up to the loft. Could I get you to burn some of that brush with your heat vision in the back pasture a little later on?”
Clark: “Okay, Dad.”
Jonathan: “Be sure that smoke doesn’t go everywhere, and blow the fire out when you’re done. I might need to use you as my tractor jack again tomorrow, so don’t go running off too far. You’re going to make one hell of a farmer some day, Clark.”
Clark: “Thanks Dad.”
With parents like Jonathan and Martha, Clark Kent’s biggest public feat might just be associated with bragging to their neighbors how the kid can open any stuck jar in the house, and beat all comers at arm wrestling. Jonathan Kent must have established the parent to child respect factor very early on in the relationship, because if Clark ever decided to defy a time out from his mom or dad, there would not be much either of them could do about it, unless they secretly used kryptonite as a way to control him. Of course, if Jonathan and Martha Kent used kryptonite to abuse Clark as a child, this practice might have raised some issues, but that is a completely different ball of wax.
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Tags: humor, Smallville, super powers
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